The Babe

I need to decide on a permanent home for this guy

Inmate dies after being stunned

Ruh Roh...
Inmate at Hamilton County jail was stunned last week for being noncompliant. Article says device was NOT a Taser. Inmate later had breathing problems, and died at a local hospital. Obviously it's under investigation, but it doesn't look good...article does say that hand-held stun guns are designed to immobilize suspects for several minutes. Having first-hand knowledge of a Taser, I can tell you it does not immobilize anyone after the shock. While the person is being shocked, yes it immobilizes them, especially if the barbs are fired. When a localized stun is used, it doesn't even immobilize them during the shock. I wasn't aware that there were commercially sold stun guns that were designed to keep someone immobile after the shock...

Don't have the inside scoop on this one yet so I can't tell you much else, other than there won't be a very pretty response from the community.

***UPDATE***
St Louis teen dies after being stunned.
The only thing I know about this case is that the article is careful not to say it was a Taser that the police used, just a stun gun. However the article goes on to discuss how Amnesty International has documented 156 cases of deaths related to stun gun use, and that this rise in deaths coincides with a rise in Taser use by police departments.

According to Congress' Government Accountability Office, Tasers were used more than 70,000 times as of last year. Doesn't say when they started the count. Even if we assume the 156 deaths are all Tasers and not just any stun gun, I'd like to see numbers comparing deaths to firearms use. Chances are they don't compare. Tasers are considered less-lethal, NOT non-lethal. The number of lives of criminals that were saved by the use of stunning instead of shooting is huge. You'd think Amnesty International would be happy about that, but you just can't please some people. I think Amnesty International has the right idea, but I don't believe absolutes and ultimatuums are realistic. They are also urging police departments to suspend use of Tasers and other stun guns until more research can be done about their safety.

If you follow that logic, it means every time some looney is charging at a cop, especially if armed or under the influence, the cop has the right to shoot them, where they might have had the opportunity to use the Taser and leave that person alive. Right, that makes sense....

*** end update ***

Your plan of escape

OK in elementary school, most people have a fire safety week, where you learn about fires in your house, how to detect if you should leave your room, smoke inhalation, etc. etc. Often children are told that they should have a plan with their family in the event of a fire, including how to get out of the house, and where they should meet up. Most larger businesses have something like this in place as well.
But nobody ever comes up with a plan for a home invasion while you're home. Well, not normal people, anyway. Not what Lt. Col. Dave Grossman would call the sheep, they don't come up with this plan. They prefer to pretend the wolf isn't right around the corner.
LEO families are a bit different. Cops spend their careers training for worst case scenarios. A lot of them like to play first person shooter games. They probably enjoy paintball games immensely, or plan on going to the range on off-days. Several have past military careers. The ones that don't, often wish they did. And they plan for home invasions. They have already mapped out several different scenarios in their heads. They may have instructed their wives to escape. Or told them where to hide. Or told them how to act as back-up, if she is comfortable with guns. Of course, we fall into this third category.
I wonder how many cops have tactical plans for their entire house. How many have planned out how they'd approach each and every doorway, stairway, and open space. I'm not suggesting that these guys sit down one day after they move in, and write these things down. Merely that it's second nature to them.
We do have multiple plans previously discussed, of course. I know how I'd escape our bedroom. We try to keep the cell phones upstairs at night, in the event the power/phone was lost. I do not have a hiding place, because I'd either escape or fight. I know where the guns are kept, and how to use them. I've also had plans in mind for when I was alone at night, while J was on 3rd shift. Now that we've got a wee one on the way, we're going to have to invest in a gun safe. J and I have also discussed if we are both home, that I make sure to stay out of his way, pay attention to anything he says, and respond immediately.

Is this weird? I suppose so, but in the past he's brought home instructions along these lines that were distributed by his work, or that he received in training. I guess I'm curious how many other LEO families have a plan for when the wolf comes knocking...

The media

Short post today. Especially since I've been ranting about the Quavale Finnell case and the fact that people jump to all sort of conclusions based on what they hear on the news and their interpretations of it, I'd like to offer you this little news blip.
Deputy fired after fight.
It's already obvious from the short article that this isn't the whole story. What you have to love, when you know the real story, is reading how it's so twisted by the media. This shouldn't be a surprise to anybody, especially the other LEOs out there who probably end up in the news more times than they care to remember. What I'm basically saying today is that you should never believe what you read in the newspaper, 100%. Ever. I'm not saying that there aren't remnants of facts in the article. There was a deputy fired, and it was after a fight.
It's just frustrating that the general public who wasn't there and doesn't know the truth will read this article and automatically make their own judgment on erroneous information. Exactly the same as with Quavale Finnell and Bennie Hall.

Schadenfreude

So today J and I are on the freeway, doing a reasonable speed. It's a Saturay morning, so there's a fair amount of traffic. This white car comes flying up behind us, probably doing 80. In a 55 zone. She zooms into the middle lane, and at first swerves to cut in front of us. There's another car in front of us, so instead she swerves back over to the right lane, to pass the group of cars. We come around a curve, and general traffic hits the brakes or at least lets off the gas, because there's a Hamilton County deputy running laser, pointed right at us. Blond sorority girl in white car slams on brakes so hard, her front end almost eats pavement. Pretty funny. If she'd had packages in the trunk, they'd have been on the passenger seat next to her. Deputy puts laser away, hops in car.
Here's a little tip for those of you driving around with those stupid radar/laser detectors. They don't work.
Here's another tip. When you see a cop shooting radar/laser at you, it's too late. He's already seen you, even if you think you saw him first. He already knows how fast you're going.
At this point, I get a gleeful little giggle, because it ALWAYS happens that you see some yahoo driving like an idiot and you just wish, JUST this once, that a cop would see it too, so they'd get in trouble. This was just the first time it happened in front of me. Most of the time when it happens and I'm with J, he says something like, "Why don't people do that shit in front of me when I can do something about it!"
Deputy hops in his car, takes his time pulling into traffic. Meanwhile, Goldilocks is doing about 50, and checking her side mirror more than looking in front of her. By now I think most of the other cars know who's getting busted, so they're all moving out of Mr. Deputy's way. He zips right over, and gets in the lane right behind Goldi. No sooner did he flip on his lights, that she put on her turn signal to get over. She knew what was coming.
It was about that point that I stopped feeling the schadenfreude. Who hasn't been speeding along, thinking they wouldn't get caught? So she probably got her ticket, and at least for today will not zip around like a speed demon, weaving in and out of traffic.

Summary of car theft shooting

Well since I have a more level head about it now, here's my summary. I never wish anyone death. It is tragic Quavale Finnell died this week. I do think it's a direct result of parenting that people end up following the paths that lead them to death while committing a crime. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. I think it's sad that the foster system must have failed him, and yes, I feel that it did. He was living in a tiny house with many siblings, considered semi-homeless, and was committing crimes. That's not a success story.

I think probably Bennie Hall mis-used his weapon. I don't know for sure, and I will never know for sure. I wasn't there. I wasn't Bennie Hall. Who knows what he felt at that moment, except him. I do think people should be able to act in defense of their own property, but I don't personally think it's worth a life. If we settled crimes in the eye-for-an-eye way, car theft wouldn't have resulted in death, I don't think. I'd like to think if I was on the grand jury, if Bennie Hall does in fact face a jury, that I'd hear the truth, and that I'd make a sound judgment.
Another Cincinnati blogger found my blog because of this story, and offers a very insightful post, asking some excellent questions. You can find that here: BlackCincinnati Blog.

I got so outraged at what I was hearing from people because it strikes so many similar chords to young black males in Cincinnati dying at the hands of the police. I hate to hear people martyring these so-called victims. Having just been to a funeral earlier this week, I know first hand that in death, we always try to remember the best about a person, not the worst. But that can't be a reason to justify what caused the death. And I don't see the point in attacking Bennie Hall for doing what he did. Hopefully the justice system won't fail him too, and fail society by whatever decision is made about this example.

Judgment Day

So here's a story: One morning this week, Bennie Hall went outside, started his car, and went back inside the house to let it warm up. It's been cold in Ohio, and we had a killing frost one night. No big surprise. I gotta say it wasn't this man's brightest day, because he left the car unlocked. I'm assuming, anyway, because someone walking along saw it running and hopped in it to steal it. Hall shot the thief. He died. For most of the day, Cincinnati PD hadn't identified the thief. Finally late that evening, they figured out it was 14 year old Quavale Finnell. Who had a rap sheet as long as his age, for other car thefts, breaking & entering and various other charges. Then more details start to come out, like the fact that Finnell was about to run over Hall. Let's be honest folks, if someone's stealing your car and you're watching it happen, a lot of us are probably going to do the first reaction, irrational thing and run up like you're going to stop it. Whatever the case, I did hear today from a coworker that Hall had his concealed-carry license.
Story about celebrating Quavale Finnell's birthday.
Local blogger's reaction.
Enquirer story weighing charges against Bennie Hall.
channel 12 interview with Finnell's grandmother.
Fox story on Quavale.
Now, hearing shit from a coworker is what got me so pissed off today. I work with a variety of people from different walks of life, different areas of town, different classes. I mention this because you get people that grew up differently or experienced life differently, and you are going to hear their opinions based on their lives. What I was hearing today was two people discuss their outrage about Finnell's death. They couldn't believe anybody would understand or applaud Hall's actions. One man, let's call him Jeff, was appalled that 700WLW would call Hall a hero for what he did. Specifically because "Not all of the details are out yet." And went on to describe this poor 14 year old dying just before his birthday, and why'd he get shot over a car, why'd Hall 'run in front' of the car, why didn't he just call the cops, etc. So in other words, what he's saying is "Don't judge the story before you get all the details, but I am going to judge the story before the details are out." So I called him out on it. Pisses me off to sit there and listen to people spout illogical arguments. "Well I wouldn't shoot somebody over my car." Right. My ass.

I'm not saying it was right or wrong that Bennie Hall shot the kid. I don't know. I wasn't there. I don't know all the details. If he was in fear for his life, legally he was justified in shooting Quavale Finnell. If he was shooting from the safety of his own home to save his car, well, Ohio law only permits (civilian) use of deadly force if you feel a life is in danger, including your own. I have to be honest and say I don't fault Hall for it. My guess is he probably did what a lot of us would do, and ran out to try and stop the loss of his car. Since the shooting occurred in the middle of the street, it's evident that Finnell had the car in motion. Since Hall is legally allowed to carry his gun, that's probably why he already had it on his body. My point is I'm not judging Hall for what he did. I think this kid got shot because that's what happens when you choose the lifestyle he chose.

What you have here is a clear case of someone breaking the law, and the victim of that crime trying to stop it from happening. People do that. It's pretty instinctual to save yourself, and your belongings. It's a guess, but I'm pretty sure cavemen were hitting each other over the head with bones if another one tried to take his mammoth steak. If you own dogs, one will growl at(sometimes attack) another one that takes its bone. Granted, we're logical beings, capable of thinking about something instead of acting on instinct. But it's pretty fucking easy to sit in a heated office, sipping your cuppa, and hypothesize that if it was you, YOU'D FUCKING DO IT DIFFERENTLY. Pardon my language but shut the fuck up. You can't just sit there and proclaim that you're so much better than this man because you wouldn't do that. I don't believe it for a second. You don't KNOW what you would do in that situation unless you've actually been in that situation. People think they know themselves, but you learn a lot about yourself in the heat of the moment. So all of a sudden you're so equipped to judge this man, since you HAVEN'T been in that situation before? Oh, oh and the other part I loved hearing was "If he had to shoot, why didn't he shoot the tire out?" Quit believing everything you see in the movies. It isn't that easy. Ever.

Am I ranting? Probably. I have to listen to these same two yahoos make judgments on actions the police make. If the situation was altered just slightly, so that it was a cop who shot a juvenile stealing his car (which HAS happened in Cincinnati), you'd have riots on your hands by now. Pisses me off to no end. "Why didn't they shoot the guy in the knee to stop him from running away?" "Why didn't they just let him get away with the car and call the cops?" or "The car is just property, let insurance cover it." "If they let him get away with this, before you know it kids will be shooting each other for shoplifting." *grr*
Later in the day, "Jeff" came back to talk to "Bob" and before I left the room out of frustration, I heard Jeff say something about Hall being a retired marine and he didn't know if Hall was a 'marksman' or not, but if he was...then I left before I blew up.
Are you really going to sit there and say he should have just shot out the tire, or some otherwise bullshit?

As a cop's wife, naturally I have to hear cops in general get bashed. Not that this story is bashing the cops, but I heard a lot of the same arguments that I've heard before when they were aimed at the cops. And you have to be able to see some of the similarities, especially about the gun use.
If you've never shot a gun before, here's a tip. It doesn't work like it does in the movies. There are a handful of people (at most) in the US who can so accurately fire at a quickly moving target that they are willing to take the shot. Nobody has ever purposely shot a criminal's knee out to keep them alive but stop them escaping.
Here's a little tidbit inside a cop's training: They are taught to use their weapons to "Stop the Aggression." They are not taught to kill. They are taught to stop the person from doing whatever it is that they're doing. Usually that's putting another life in danger. And they are taught to aim at central body mass. Why? Bullets travel easily through arms and legs. They hit other people. Cops want to minimize that risk. Central body mass is larger than arms and legs. When the adrenaline is pumping and a cop pulls his weapon, which most of them pray they never have to use it, fine motor coordination goes out the window. It's not the same as standing at a firing range with an immobile paper target, breathing slowly and squeezing the trigger.

I'm not judging Bennie Hall for shooting Quavale Finnell. I don't feel equipped to. I'm not God. I do feel confident in saying Quavale Finnell was headed down a dangerous path in life. If you click on some of those links above, you'll be looking at his mugshots from previous offenses. He would have turned 15 yesterday. He was on house arrest for a prior b&e. He shouldn't have tried to steal someone's car. It's unfortunate that this happened, but I can't necessarily fault Bennie Hall for what he did. He was trying to protect his property. And Bennie Hall still has to face a grand jury and defend what he did. Hopefully they will be comprised of his peers. They will decide if he'll be charged.

The Movie

Totally forgot to mention in that last post that J was seeing "The Departed". He came home with accolades for Scorcese and most of the actors. So he's recommending it to everybody. Which means when it comes out on DVD it will definitely be in this house, and I'll probably end up watching it at some point. So go see it. It's good.

A Brush with Fame

So there's an entirely long back story to what I'm about to tell you, but I don't have the patience to write it, nor do you have the time to read it. So just accept some things without further detail. Last night J went to a movie with his dad, and I was waiting at the theater for his mom to pick me up. The boys were no more than 20 feet from the truck that I was still sitting in to keep warm. A car drove by, and I thought the passenger looked like Rich Franklin. I should mention I had quite a headache and was still trying to work through it, so my thought process was a little slow. After the car passed me, I realized it WAS Rich Franklin. I was floored. I turned to look at J, and banged on the window so he'd turn and look. He was already staring at the car, and turned back to me. Rich 'Ace' Franklin was going to the same movie theater as J, at the same time. I stared as he got out of his car with his wife, and made his way up to the theater. I tried to look for signs of injury from his recent fight. I thought he walked with a slight limp, but I could have been reading into his walk.
My phone was dead. I couldn't call or text anybody. When my mother-in-law showed up, I tried to tell her about the 'sighting.' She doesn't watch very many sports, and of course had no idea who he was. When we met up with my sister-in-law, I tried to tell her. She is into a lot of sports, but not fighting. So she had no idea who he was. Now granted, he lives in the area of town where we were at (same area my in-laws live in) so it wasn't a HUGE shock to see him there. But in a city with a million citizens, it's rare to run into people you know, let alone people you know *of*. So it was cool.
Later after J's movie was over, I texted him to see if Rich had been in their movie. He said no, but he shook his hand. I thought he was a little geeky at first, but then he explained that they'd been standing in line for snacks, and Rich and his wife walked up. J couldn't resist telling him that he's a huge fan. He left it at that, though. We'd heard rumors that his nose was broken, or ribs, possibly. J said his face showed no signs of any breakage, and that Rich said he was doing all right since the fight. I can tell you that Rich is a hell of a fighter with an amazing record, but he lost his title to Anderson Silva on Oct 14, and rightly so. Anderson Silva is a scary fighter! But we're still on the Rich Franklin bandwagon so we're thinking he'll spend the next six months recuping, and training harder than ever to get his title back.

This 'celebrity sighting' was far more exciting than the time I saw Dwayne 'the Rock' Johnson working out at a gym in Florida. I guess because I'm a fan of Rich Franklin? I also wasn't very impressed when I saw Chad Johnson at Hooters a year or two ago. But I got his autograph anyway, mostly because our waitress talked me into it. I'd have to say it was also more exciting than seeing Efren Ramirez (Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite), although seeing him was the most 'celebrity' like encounter. All the other times, I was seeing celebrities be normal people. Going to the movies, getting some wings, running the treadmill. Efren and his brother and their little 'posse' came in looking very much like they expected to be recognized. I blogged about it before. You have to respect when they are just being normal people. Let them be normal, right?

I still hold to the fact that if I ever saw Brad Pitt in person, I'd probably end up committed for making a fool of myself. Especially if he was with Angelina! Kind of sad to admit that, but I'm all for honesty.

Any of you guys ever have a celebrity sighting? Local or National, doesn't really matter. I'm considering it a celebrity sighting if you knew this person from TV or movies and then saw them in person.

Fun day

Well this morning J and I got to hear Squirt's heartbeat for the very first time! It was awesome. Dr. K said it was between high 150s and low 160s. It was kind of surreal, but J and I both immediately got huge smiles on our faces. And I found out my blood type is O+. What good is having O if it isn't Oneg to donate? But that means I am RH positive, which means I don't have to worry about antibodies attacking my baby's blood type. Of course this means they don't automatically test J, so he still doesn't know what blood type he is. He wants to write it on the inside of his vest. I personally think it's a little morbid, but a necessary evil in that career path. Do any of you LEO readers have your blood type and/or any other medical info taped to your vest, or otherwise found on your body in case of emergency?

For your viewing pleasure, I'd like to present Cate. I'm not sure if she's on something here, but she's with her dance troup and talking about horror movies.

I'd like to have more halloween links out there for you guys, but I've been out and about all day so haven't gotten the chance. I'm seriously toying with the idea of being a hot cop for halloween. Not so easy with the growing pooch I once called my stomach. Alternately, since it's so freaking cold in Cincinnati, I'd really like to be Max from "Where the Wild Things Are". C'mon, I'd get to wear footy pajamas! Man it's no wonder Maurice Sendak won the Caldecott for that book...

Ooh, ooh I almost forgot. J's 5.11 pants finally came today. He ordered them directly from Galls. He was so excited he called me at work to tell me. It was pretty cute. He is considering trying out one of their compression shirts, similar to the HeatGear by UnderArmor. 511 claims their shirts compress more or less in certain areas to prevent the shirt bunching up. Guess we'll see how he likes them if he tries them. I know Bobby mentioned he owns some 5.11 gear....anybody else have any reviews on their compression shirts?

Interesting Links

I am a huge fan of Clicked, and check it as often as I can. He finds the most interesting links out there, and often what 'everybody' is linking to on the net. Super interesting. Found this site, which is a photo slide show of advertising that makes you look twice. Totally SFW, unless laughing out loud is frowned upon at your job. Check 'em out.

ha. ha.

I hope that when this life is over, and I find out this has all been one colossally huge joke, with me as the butt of it, that I can actually laugh. I have a feeling I'm going to be pretty pissed off, though.

Random Factoids

Well, because 'everybody's doing it lately, and because I want to toot my own horn on this rainy day, here's some random facts about me:

1. I can type 100+ words a minute, with zero errors.
2. I can change my own flat tire, by myself, thankyouverymuch.
3. I cannot change my own oil. I wish I could.
4. I will learn to ride my own motorcycle. Soon.
5. I have experienced Hulk-like rage.
6. I love vampire mythology.
7. I have the worst vision of anyone I've ever met. The worst by a lot. I don't qualify for lasik surgery because of it.
8. I used to hate my eye color until I realized few people have green eyes. Now I wouldn't trade them for any other color.
9. I never met my own father.
10. I may have 19 siblings. 18 of them by my father.
11. I only know one sister.
12. I hated my stepfather when I was growing up. I was happy my mom divorced him. Now I'm glad he's not in my life. He hated me, too.
13. My ex-step father owns a fairly well known website, with hundreds of thousands of paying subscribers. I am not one of them.
14. My husband is my high school sweetheart. All together now, AWWWWWW
15. I have been to Monet's garden, and sketched in it. It was awesome.
16. I have always been artistic, and have painted murals in every home I've lived in since I was 14.
17. I have one tattoo. I designed it myself. You can't see it unless you ask nicely.
18. I wanted to work at the zoo or become a vet, growing up. Now I work in corporate America.
19. My office is so similar to Office Space it's scary. Down to a Milton with his stapler. I'm not kidding.
20. I drank with my RA, freshman year at college. Sophomore year, I *was* the RA. I only busted one party, and it was because they were assholes, not because they were drinking underage. And they weren't even my residents.
21. My dorm almost burned down because of a candle. It was mine.
22. I don't regret anything I've done, unless it hurt someone I love. Then I can't forgive myself.
23. I have no problems with nudity or swearing. Nudity is natural. Swearing only means what you allow it to mean. I have huge problems with violence. I don't think it's natural.
24. I have two black labs, both rescues. I'd rather be around dogs than people.
25. I am horrifically arachnophobic, but would stop you from killing a spider for no good reason.
26. I've shot 7 different guns. An AR15, a few 9mms, a few 45s, and one 40. And I know how to field strip a Glock 17. I'm also a pretty damned good shot, with no official training.

All right, there you have it. I know it's not up to Katey's 50, but I'm just not that good. It took me a while to come up with these.

Keep yourself informed

With all the scary new threats made by North Korea, I felt it important that I start learning more about what was going on. Not that it will stop a war by any means, but I think I should be aware, for my own sake.

Came across this article in Newsweek, which is very frightening, and very informative about past and present efforts in dealing with (or not dealing with) North Korea and their nuclear weapons development. I'd strongly suggest you read it. It talks about what our government did under Clinton, and how that changed drastically under Bush. It talks about possible method behind the madness for Kim Jong Il. It's an eye-opener.

In other news, the US denied entry to a major Muslim leader who holds British citizenship, and constantly speaks out against violence, both to the general public and to the Muslim world. Nobody is really sure why they denied him entry. I'm sorry if you disagree with me, but I do NOT agree with over-generalized 'profiling'. This man doesn't fit the profile of a terrorist, and he was coming to New York to speak at a conference at New York University Law School.

As a cop's wife, I understand that the media attacks the word 'profiling' and uses it to sound as though cops are doing something dirty or racist. I understand that when a call comes out over the radio for a suspect who is 5'10, black, 16-20 years of age, wearing a white oversized t-shirt and jeans, and you, as a cop, see someone fitting that description, you are actually profiling. I don't think that's a bad thing. How else do we expect you to catch suspects? I think when you only have one word to describe your suspect, "Muslim", and you immediately hound all people fitting that description, that's where it becomes negative and should be avoided. That's why those descriptions that come out over the radio or posted on your bulletin boards are so descriptive.

Anyway, since we've started watching Jericho, I'm just hoping we don't actually get into a nuclear war. It's too scary to think about. Do you know what *you* would do if we were attacked? It's unfortunate, but we might all need to start coming up with our own disaster plans.

Falling...

So I know we, as bloggers all go through those times where we get a little writer's block. Maybe nothing's going on in the world that we write about. Maybe we don't have the heart to share when it does. But then on the other side of it, when you blog and don't hear from anybody, you start to feel as if you're being ignored. Or being boring. Maybe your blog wasn't that interesting to begin with. Maybe nobody's reading anymore. Do we get writer's blog for commenting on blogs? I occasionally hear from people I know in real life, friends or family, who read my blog and comment to me personally, via email or phone or whatever. But they usually lurk, if they really are reading. Why do we continue to blog, then? Is it that everybody likes to hear (see?) themselves talk? Are we so narcissistic we think someone actually wants to read it?

Speaking of narcissism, I've got a new theory about people liking the way they look. See, it could be argued that we're attracted to beautiful people because genetically they represent ideals. I can buy it from a scientific point of view. But I have this theory that we're all programmed initially at least, to like the way we look. The people who enjoy staring in the mirror are just the people who are honest about it. Why do I believe this? I also believe that (normal) parents are preprogrammed to think their own children are so beautiful that they will take care of them no matter what. Why? Because they look like us. How is it you can know someone who has a baby that, let's be honest, looks more like Yoda than a Cabbage Patch doll; yet the parents of this child think he or she is more beautiful than anything they've ever seen? Because we're all narcissistic to our very core.

That's just my theory, anyway.

Taking care of your equipment

So I was going to post about how we still live in the neighborhood we were forced to live in when J got his first cop job. More of an educational story for my non-LEO readers, but I'll get there one day. J started cleaning his gun tonight while we were watching TV. Heroes was on, which is a pretty good show. Anyway, since J got reassigned to this new post, for some strange, departmental reason, he had to switch guns with someone. Why? I don't know. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me. But I am not a cop administrator so I guess I don't know anything.

J carries a Sig Sauer P226 currently. They all do at his county dept. So it wasn't like he had to switch to a new gun that he'd have to get used to all over again. But the guy he switched with had a newer version of the P226, and J knows because it's got the new 'rails' on the side. You boys in blue probably know more about that than I do. I just repeat what he told me. Anyway, J had the older version, but he takes care of his equipment. It's there to help save your life or save someone else's life, so take care of it. It's kind of like your car in the sense that when you don't take care of it, it doesn't take care of you. You need to clean the gun after every time it's shot. Gunpowder builds up in the slide, the barrel, the trigger, etc. All the moving parts of the gun get pretty gunked up. You also need to clean a gun periodically even when it hasn't been shot, for the same reason you clean your house. Things get dirty.

Apparently the guy who carried this newer Sig never cleaned it. As most people know, cops periodically have to qualify with their weapons, to prove they still know how to use them. So it wasn't like this gun was never shot. J takes this thing apart today, and I can tell from 10 feet away, in the fading evening light, with my untrained eye, that it's dirty. I wish I'd taken a picture of the pile of blackened paper towels and q-tips that he went through. He was actually pretty pissed at the state of the weapon. There is rust on it in some spots. If it were me, since I'm such a hothead, I'd probably have complained to a boss about being forced to take an inferior piece of equipment. But J's a little more level-headed than I am, and also a little more diplomatic with his superiors.

so that's the rant o'the day...J's currently listening to "The Pot" by Tool. For some nutty reason you can't legally download this song online. Me? I'm only listening to my Sirius, and loving the fact that I can program it to let me know when my favorite song(s), group(s) or both are playing on any station. Can terrestrial radio do that? NOT YET!!! Hahahahahaha....Most recent stored group? Art of Noise. Doubtful many people have heard of them. Cool stuff, though.

Mixed Martial Arts

So last night we went to Hooters to watch UFC 64. Rich Franklin fought Anderson Silva and WOW! It was amazing. This was Anderson "The Spider" Silva's SECOND UFC fight, and now he's the middleweight title holder. It was unreal. The entire restaurant was rooting for Rich Franklin, since he's from Cincinnati and he's an awesome fighter, so you can imagine the reaction when Silva TKO'd Franklin barely into the first round.

Meanwhile there was a guy sitting at the next table who was wearing an MMA t-shirt and whose girlfriend was wearing a "I love fighters" shirt, and J ended up talking to him about the gym he trains at and so forth. J has been wanting to find a gym to get in shape at, because really he needs a trainer to give him the motivation and means. He was so good at going to the gym by himself and finding his own program on the internet and so forth, but then he just lost motivation, going to the local PD gym all by himself every other day. There's something to be said about going to a gym with other people. Plus he has been so interested in the MMA stuff that he wants to train in that also. A lot of cops get trained in ground fighting techniques, and it would probably be REALLY beneficial to J to be better trained in fighting. He does hold a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, but it's been a long time since he practiced that. Plus he loves the whole 'sport', so there you go!

Halloween!

Probably my favorite costume in quite a number of years...

I think this was the year J was a GSW victim...the theme of the part was "death" so your costume had to be someone dead. I was so caught up in planning the party that I forgot to come up with my own idea, but someone I work with supplied the beginnings of this idea. Since I work in healthcare (corporate R&D though, nothing fun) someone else came up with the not-so-bright idea of making me look like I was still smoking by using a 200ml syringe filled with dry ice. I decided against that, since I didn't want to *really* have burns on me.

Definitely my best costume to date.

A bit of clarification

Well, you may or may not have noticed that I shut down the comments on the Flat Daddy post. I don't want to talk about the war on this blog. It's a sensitive subject, and you're bound to get a lot of fiery remarks on it. My blog isn't about me disagreeing with the war. It's about my life, my husband's life, and the fact that he's a cop. There are plenty of blogs out there that focus on the war. If you agree or disagree with the war, I'm sure you've found your favorite blogs.

J was finally able to share more details about babysitting the inmate at the hospital. The story got quite different after that, at least for me. Turns out she and her boyfriend / husband / whatever were both arrested the night before. Deputies were called in because they were beating the crap out of each other. What most likely happened is he started hitting her, and she fought back. She cut him with a knife, and they both got arrested. J said there were a ton of bruises on her, some fresh, some old, but there were a lot. I say good for her for fighting back. Boo for her for staying with him long enough to bruise her more than once. But they were so drunk that the woman didn't remember calling her lawyer, and didn't remember much of the night. By the end of the evening, she'd been released on her own recognizance, so she got to go directly home from the hospital. No word on whether or not she actually had a seizure. Hopefully she'll take this to heart and move out. Doubtful that she actually will.

Since J has weekends off now, we were going to try to go camping this weekend. Unfortunately there is now an insane cold snap headed straight for us. And I don't camp in freezing temperatures. I mean that literally, I don't camp when you can go ice skating. If the temp is below 32, no way, jose. Call me a wimp. I can take it :) But now at least he gets to see UFC 64. Rich Franklin is defending his title, and he's a local boy. So of course he's a favorite. Plus, his record is 22-1 (I think) so he's pretty much a great fighter.

I should mention the fact that this is nothing new with my mom. I have been dealing with her shit for my entire life. It's just fortunate I live two hours away now, so I don't have to deal with it as often. Sometimes she gets moments of clarity, where she understands that she's a bitch, and that she says and does things that are very hurtful to other people. Then five minutes later the real her comes back out, and you realize she doesn't *care* that she hurts people. She only cares about herself. Usually those moments of clarity come with copious amounts of alcohol. But however you grew up, if it was with loving people who raised you the best way they knew how, or if it was people who didn't know any better and screwed you up, you still know what it's like to want a happy family. Whether that family ultimately comes from the people you aren't related to, but you just choose them to be your support system, or that family comes from your blood relatives. So I'm sure most of my readers get where I'm coming from when it becomes too much.

Anyway, there you have it. Thanks for all your supportive comments. It means a lot to me, genuinely. Kind of helps me feel I'm not so alone.

LOST is on tonight...eek! They'd better start answering some damn questions, NOW!

Silence.

So, since I told my mom that I am pregnant, she's hardly asked me anything about the baby. Hasn't asked how I've been feeling. Hasn't asked if we've picked names. Are we excited. Do we want a boy or a girl. Are we going to move before Squirt's born. Etc. The usual litany of questions that every other person who knows has asked. And she definitely hasn't said congratulations. She's pretty much been silent on the whole thing. You'd think, from our conversations, that it wasn't happening. In fact, we had a discussion about some of J's family members, and she asked, "Do they know about...you?" Like I've got some communicable disease that nobody is supposed to talk about.

This weekend I went to Columbus with the intention of meeting my grandfather for the first time. This would be my father's father. I never met my father, and I never will. Why? He died in 2001. Saturday I couldn't get ahold of my grandfather, so we stopped by my grandmother's house. This would be my mother's mother. One of my uncles was there, so we all sat around for a while, shooting the shit and watching the Buckeyes game. Naturally the topic came around to my mother. Now I have further evidence that she isn't excited about the baby. She spoke with my grandmother and my uncle on separate occasions, and they both got the impression that she isn't excited. She basically feels she isn't ready to be a grandmother. Well I got news for you honey, TOO FUCKING BAD. We didn't make this decision for her. We didn't make this decision ABOUT her. In fact, my mother never entered my mind when J and I decided to have a baby. She used to say it to me as a child, and she sure could use a dose of her own medicine, but THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU. So quit pretending like it does. Quit pretending everybody does everything in their own life because of you. It's not. about. you.

Sunday we went to breakfast and J called her Grandma, knowing it would get under her skin. In a pretty bitchy tone of voice, she said "Don't say that again." I turned to him and said "Yeah because then it makes it not TRUE."

Since Cathy came up with the idea, I've been looking for a way to come up with a story about an innocent victim of a lie told in silence. Turns out the shit was my own life all along. I can't say as it was specifically a lie, but her silence on the matter turns out to speak volumes. You can decide who the victim is. There's a repeat theme in some of my posts about not understanding why someone could cut another person out of their life so completely. Well, I've got a pretty good reason going right here. I don't know that I want my child growing up with such a hateful, mean old woman as a grandmother.

Hospitals

Well today J had to do a special detail. He got to work this morning, only to be told he had to go babysit a prisoner at the hospital. Overnight she'd claimed to have had a seizure, so they had to take her to get tested and such. It's still not clear if she actually did have a seizure, but I gotta be honest. A seizure would be a great excuse if you wanted to get out of jail for the weekend. Without a video on her 24 hrs a day, it would be nearly impossible to prove it happened, and all they can do is a litany of tests on her. Meanwhile she probably gets better food and a nicer bed, plus some privacy. Needless to say, J was pretty bored. I can tell you from personal experience he doesn't like sitting at the hospital with someone he chooses to be there with. Not a lot of people do. He was probably going to have to stay at the hospital til midnight tonight, until he'd reached the limit of the allowable consecutive work hours, and someone else would relieve him.

I offered to bring him a book or food. Some of the nicer nurses brought him a bunch of magazines, and a word-search. I can only imagine how bored he'd have to be before he did that, but I digress. He had hospital cafeteria food for lunch, but then tonight after I had fed myself and the dogs, he called to say his choices were some cod or scary looking beef for dinner in the cafeteria, and would I be so kind as to bring him Subway? By the time I got to the hospital, things had turned around and the prisoner was due to be released either from the court or from the hospital, I'm still not quite sure of the details. But it meant he'd be done at 8 pm, not midnight. So there's that silver lining...

It's a full moon out tonight. I know lots of guys who are on extra look out for the loonies tonight...speaking of which, did you know the word lunatic has at its roots 'lunar' which is of course, related to the moon? Yup, lunatics were always associated with the full moon. Neat little etymology lesson for you there. Can't remember where I learned that one.

At 10 weeks, Squirt is now the size of a walnut, roughly. She (He, if you ask J) has fully formed fingers and toes, and is probably learning how to flip me off, since the fingers are separated now. Something I learned today is that the 'yolk' is starting to disappear. Did you know we all had a yolk? I had the funny image in my head of a nice little yellow egg yolk next to the fetus. I don't think I'll be able to eat sunny side up eggs for a while....Anyway, after getting a peek at the maternity floor at the hospital J was 'stationed' at (BN), and having already visited the maternity ward at the hospital I'm *supposed* to deliver at (GS), I've made up my mind. I want to go to THAT hospital! J's sister had both her girls at BN, and I guess I just got a better vibe off that hospital. Plus, having personally visited GS already (I was just getting IV fluids due to dehydration) and not being impressed with the staff OR the facilities, I gotta say I'm already starting to figure out a way to go to BN.

A sobering moment

Is anybody else SERIOUSLY disturbed by this picture? You'll have to click on it to read the text, but basically the National Guard is making cardboard posters of soldiers for their families. You have got to be joking me, right? "Here son, hope this cardboard cutout will help you not miss your dad. Look, he can push you on the swing and everything! It's like he's not even gone!"

What happens when that soldier dies in combat, like so many others? Do they come and take away the 'Flat Daddy'???

This is absolutely beyond ridiculous. And horrifyingly sad. I hope I am not bringing anybody's Friday down, but I felt this photo was important enough to share.

Justice is served

OK I can't find the post, but I swear I wrote on here about the guy who robbed a UDF, and beat the clerk half to death. When the police showed up, they thought the woman was dead. Fortunately she was still alive. I know she was in the ICU for a while. Anyway, J actually heard about that asshole's trial recently. He got 3 years for the robbery, and 7 for the assault. I was glad to hear that; at least they put more weight on the woman's life than on the material items. J said he heard that the clerk wasn't doing too good these days, though. Has agoraphobia, can't work at her old job anymore. Then I felt like the asshole didn't get enough time in prison. AHA I found the old post.

On a side note, anybody remember Teddy Ruxpin? Playskool has come out with a newer version, only now they're calling it T.J. Bearytales. What a rip.

Night time

So now that J has a 'normal' schedule due to court services, we've had to readjust to sleeping in bed at the same time. We're both so used to sleeping with the whole bed to ourselves, that it's almost like starting from scratch. I'd forgotten how warm he is when he sleeps. He'd forgotten that I'm a cuddler. For those of you who don't get Amy-speak, cuddling means I move in to wrap myself around him, and since he sleeps warm, he moves over to get some space. I then move into that space, which means halfway through the night he wakes up halfway off the bed. To make matters worse, Holly, our smaller dog (note I said smallER, not small) likes to sleep on the bed next to her mama, and she takes after me in the cuddling sense. So we have woken up sometimes with her in the middle, me partly on J's side, and J falling off the bed. It's got to be hysterical on tape, if only we had a cctv.

But anyway, it's weird still. It's not been quite a week and we haven't gotten into a rhythm yet. I keep forgetting during the day that he's actually awake. And when he says he's tired at 10:30 at night, I think he's going to take a nap before shift.

We've been sleeping in the same bed for over 6 years now, but it's strange how a year of third shift will mess with the household routine.

Quick Squirt update: Squirt is now slightly over 3 centimeters, roughly an inch and a half. Weighs about the same as an American nickel. I have to eat constantly throughout the day to avoid throwing up, which has led to my stomach growing quite a bit. And I don't have anything to blame it on but myself. In a few months I can play off the stomach as being a baby, but right now it's just fat. And compared to other preggers / mamas I know and talk to, I supposedly have the worst nausea/vomiting that they've heard of. Great. That's comforting. At first I wasn't going to write a lot about the pregnancy on my blog, but I realized it's all part of being a cop's wife. Of course, it's part of being anybody's wife, should you decide to have a child. Plus, it's my blog. :) And they really are lying when they call it morning sickness. I am the least sick in the morning. It's the worst at bedtime.

Hope everybody is enjoying this crazy fall weather. Today it was almost 90 degrees here in the Queen City, and tomorrow it's only supposed to be in the 60s. I love Ohio weather.
Hope everybody is also gearing up for elections. They are going to have the no-smoking in public places bill(s) on the ballot this year, which I am most excited about. GO VOTE!