So apparently last night wasn't completely without some amusement. I'd like to share with you the story that he shared with me from last night.
Someone called in to report a car with two passed out teenagers in it. J and two other deputies show up. The one in the driver's side is half out of the vehicle. There's puke all over the place. J walks up to the passenger side.
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
(drunk teen 1) "uh...wha?"
J: "Get UP!"
(Jim says he looks about 12, smells distinctly of beer)
J: "How old are you?"
Teen: "From that movie?"
J: "No. How old are you?"
Teen: "From over there!"
J: "What the hell? How OLD are you?"
Teen: "From that movie!!"
J: "What the fuck are you talkinga bout, dude? How old are you?"
J: "Do you have your ID on you?"
Kid's 19. Had split a six-pack of Bud-Light and two Steel Reserves with his buddy, who's equally inebriated. Obviously so drunk he can't understand a simple question. Meanwhile, Sgt is interviewing other kid, who's ready to ralph sitting on the tailgate of the truck. She says to him, "If you need to puke, you'll probably feel better if you just do it." He says "No, that's OK." And tips over to fart. Both kids start giggling.
I'm starting to wonder if both of them weren't also high, but that's just me. After writing the tickets for them, the deputies make them walk over to their friend's house with the promise that they won't drive ANYTHING, even a tricycle. And that's a quote.