Tuesday, September 26, 2006


So today I had a doctor's appointment. It was the big 'first' appointment, although why they call it that I don't know. It's actually the second appointment. The first appointment is just confirming the pregnancy. Today was all the big tests and medical history. So I should find out soon what my blood type is. Since my little sister is O neg, I stand a good chance, even though we have different dads. Anyway, after the appointment, J and I go to get some food, and he starts telling me more detail about the chick whose vomit he got on his gloves. I don't know if it was all the blood they took, or what but I was pretty slap happy and giggling at everything. I ordered breakfast and got sausage with it, and I started mentioning the Sausage King of Chicago. He goes, "You're Abe Frommer?" And I just lost it.

Anyway, he says to me, "So the other night we're dealing with the drunk chick with the vomiting, and she looks up at me and says, 'Can I ask you a question?' and I said 'sure,' and she goes 'When you get sued over this, is it going to be a problem?' " Of course he's imitating her slurring her words because she's three sheets to the wind and did I forget to mention she's not yet 21? So I laugh, and he's laughing because it was pretty funny, and he says, "So I look her in the eye as I'm putting her in the back of the car, and say 'NOPE!' and laugh at her. Then she asks why she's being arrested, and I told her 'Underage consumption, and obstructing.' She whines back, 'but you don't have any proof I was drinking!' and I said, 'You flat out TOLD me you were drunk!' and she replies, 'But you still don't have any proof!' "

At this point I stop laughing enough to ask J, hypothetically of course, if this girl is in law school. He says she actually *IS*!! She keeps whining that she wants to be a county prosecutor and this is going to ruin that for her, and on and on. Very typical 'please don't arrest me' bullshit.

I guess if I hadn't been in such a silly mood, it would have been likely I was rolling my eyes at her. I don't know why I found it so damn funny at the time, though. I'm just imagining some snotty little chick thinking she's so hot that because she wants to be a lawyer, she can talk her way out of underage consumption and public intox and whatnot, then getting her comeuppance because um, HELLO, she still did something totally against the law! Oh well, it's not like it will actually hurt her chances at becoming a lawyer. Hell it probably wouldn't hurt her chances of becoming a cop if life went that way, especially if she went to a big city!

OK Cate asked for an update on Squirt so here it is: right now I am told the baby is about the size of a coffee bean, maybe a small grape, and my uterus is about the size of an apple. It's actually a fetus now, not just an embryo. I'm not actually SHOWING in the sense that you couldn't tell I am pregnant, but my stomach is getting kind of poochy these days. If I didn't know I was pregnant I would be mad that it wasn't flat anymore, but since I am and I do know, it's pretty nice to not have to care about it. I can't wear a belt because my stomach is so sensitive to pressure, especially when nauseous, so half the time we're at home, I've got the trashy little whale tail going on. *SO* not attractive. But then again the other half of the time I'm in my awesome jammy pants with a drawstring so no problems. Oh, and Wil? I am most definitely getting enough sleep. Naps are awesome. The only sad thing is when I go to bed at 10 some nights, and I know a lot of people my age who are just going out for the night. I will miss that, but not a ton. I'll probably be too old to go bar hopping by the time they pass the no-smoking-in-public law here in Cincinnati anyway.


frhe sjgg said...

Great story. What a geek. And the sad thing is -- she probably WILL be a lawyer one day !

That coffee bean still sounds like she or he is gonna have an excellent set of parents !

Remember that to avoid morning sickness you have to to eat lots of very small meals, and chew slowly. It does help, truly...

Hope you love soon being able to wear the clothes that proclaim you are a glowing mommy-to-be !

Anne Elizabeth

The Enforcer said...

Hey Amy,
Congrats bigtime.

Cathy said...

You are all giggly because you are pregnant. It causes all sorts of strage reactions. Wait until you are laughing at something one minute and then the next, you start crying, for no reason at all. Its all part of being pregnant. My DIL is almost 7 months now, and I'm getting excited. Its been awhile, since there was a baby to spoil.

I'm so happy for you!

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy,

Please don't throw up on Jim's gloves. :o)

Let us know how the "lawsuit" works out.

Lots of love,