Friday, October 10, 2008

SWAT team to get new members

I can't remember offhand how many members are on J's tactical response team. I want to say something in the ballpark of 20? They are still recruiting though, and I believe just added two or three more people.

I think that's great, for the most part. Except for one. One of the people who applied has a lot of baggage. A broken off engagement to another person who is already on the team. A history of inviting and fostering sexual relationships with married people. A tendency to be involved in department drama.

Yes, it's a female officer. Before you go thinking I am just jealous, hear me out. I do not doubt my husband's integrity. We have a terribly strong relationship, and I know he won't stray, so that's not my concern. I won't lie, I don't like the thought that she apparently has no qualms about inviting the attention of married men. But my prime concern is what her presence can do to the integrity of the team.

Currently the team is all men. I do not believe that adding a woman to the team is a problem, particularly if she has the skillset to round out the team. I do, however, believe that this particular woman is not a good fit. The team members, all of them as far as I know, have a type of humor that keeps them in good spirits, keeps them connected to each other on a brotherly level. Given some of the baggage that accompanies this newest recruit, that humor will probably be kept on a short leash.

I am sure I do not even need to focus on the fact that this officer's former fiance is on the team. That should speak volumes about the potential discomfort that can complicate matters on so many levels.

The team has its hands tied as far as this being a valid reason to veto this applicant. It seems obvious to me, the potential for problems is far greater than the need to fill a quota, but I'm not the brass.

All I know is that she had better respect every team member, and every single relationship represented on that team. It does help that the rest of the team, even ones from the other departments, are aware of the situation. I know at least some of the other wives and one girlfriend are aware, as well. If she can prove herself truly dedicated to the TEAM, and manage to keep her, shall we say, personal demons to herself, she just may fit in after all.

18 comments:

Kenny O said...

Hey
Kennyo here, Yeah that sounds like a tough spot for the department... for me I'm with u, my mess with a good thing,,, anyone can tell that by putting her in there with her past relations will throw off the team.....Hope it goes well
That is a goal of mine one day is to get on swat..Well heres is ERT..
later

copwife2323 said...

Friendly warning....she cannot be trusted AT ALL. I know her, and I can tell you she WILL NOT keep her hands or other body parts to herself. She wants what you and every other wife has. Your husbands. She will use you to get it too, by pretending to be your friend. She is a nasty person. She does not care who she hurts or what she does. Some of the things I know, you'd be pissed. PLEASE keep your eyes open. Your man may be the best, but that will not stop her from trying. How would you feel if he got a naked pic of her on his cellphone? 'Cuz it WILL happen. I'm not saying he's asking for any of it, but she just does it. She has no morals. She is the worst kind. I do not want to see you hurt. But she does what she wants and screw (pardon the pun)anyone who's in the line of fire. Look at what she's done already. She may have a boyfriend, but that doesn't stop her. Ask her exes. She's ruined enough lives already. She uses them for what she wants and then tosses them when she gets it, or doesn't get it.....and HIDES BEHIND HER BADGE. She's a rotten (ha ha pun completely intended here) human being. She gives REAL female cops a BAD image.

FroneAmy said...

Frankly, her trying does piss me off. And make no mistake, she will not find a friend in me, nor in another team wife I am good friends with.

I did not want to come across as the type to only blame the "other woman" in the event there is an indiscretion, which is why I clarify I know J won't stray.

In the interest of not basing all my feelings on rumor, I will allow her the potential of cleaning up her act and not pursuing half the team. I don't *expect* a change, but again, I know the entire team is aware of the baggage, and I'd have a hard time believing I'm one of the only wives aware of it as well.

copwife2323 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
FroneAmy said...

In the interest of keeping things anonymous, I am removing your comment for now, but I have read and saved it. J and I have had a discussion about this post and your comments, and would prefer to take this conversation offline.

If you would like to contact me directly, I believe you can email me through the blog. Otherwise, it's my blogger "name" at gmail.com.

copwife2323 said...

Hey, it's your blog, that's fine. I completely understand. Good luck and maybe I will email you.

Mrs. "Smith" said...

Wow...just wow. What a messed up situation. I don't know that I could accept that happening. You are one strong lady.

FroneAmy said...

Here's the thing...I'm kind of stuck 'accepting' it. I don't have to like it, but I have to accept that she's joining the team. Now my choices are, do I go psycho wife on her when I finally do meet her, or do I keep an open dialogue with J about her actions?

My guess is she is also the type who blows off any women who are around, or anticipates that they won't like her anyway and acts accordingly.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I recall another story I'd heard, from another LEO wife, about her. Given that she was retelling a story she herself was witness to, I believe her.

I have no doubt that most of what I hear is true. I just have to hope for the best, that because her reputation precedes her, the team is amply closed off.

I still don't like what that means for the team dynamics, though.

copwife2323 said...

I've thought about it, and you know, I saved your email address, but that's as far as I'm going to go with it for now. If we should ever meet, well, I'm always truthful and open. But I'm trying to not focus on the past and what she's done to me and what I've lost. (I know it didn't seem that way, but....)And making you focus on the horrible aspect of this is NOT what I intended. I let my hurt jump in that last post and I wasn't on here for me. I did what I intended, and that was pass on (what was supposed to be) a friendly warning. It is good to hear that you are aware of the situation, and that others are as well. Don't let this become the main focus of your life, and don't let it (or her) get in the way.

FroneAmy said...

CopWife - I had hoped to hear from you by email, but not specifically for the purpose of discussing the person in question.

Starting a conversation with people who live this life is pretty much the main purpose of my blog, so don't feel bad about posting.

Kojak said...

I think she will be a cancer. I vote to kick her to the curb.

copwife2323 said...

I've thought about what you said above, and my honest advice is the old saying "never let 'em see you sweat". Don't let her see that you're cautious, she will play off that. She's a great actress. Just keep your eyes and ears open and don't let the wondering come between you and your man, you seem like you have a real partnership.

copswife said...

It's too bad the team and the teams wives have to deal with this. It would be nice if all LEOs, male and female, were above this kind of behavior but the reality is that they are human.

It sounds like you have a good man on your hands there but I can see how just having her on the team could make things hard for everybody.

Thanks for commenting on my blog, btw. It's so nice to have found this support system of other wives and girlfriends...

Cathy said...

Oh you are making me have palpitations reliving the past. Thank God my husband is now a retired cop and I no longer have this worry. But, I use to have these same type problems. I feel for you and also for all the team members who have to work with her.

Thanks for the comment on my blog. I was so happy to hear from you again!

copswife said...

Hey all, I have a question over at my blog I'm asking for input on. Can you help me out?

whymomdrinksrum.net said...

I hope they take a look at the costs of allowing this woman to enter the unit. With a previous relationship on the table...no way. Of COURSE it's going to affect her performance and her acceptance onto the team.

Bah! Don't you wish there was a step where the wives had to put their stamps of approval on the new hires as well?

kvegas911 said...

Amy??? Where are you? :)

tgace said...

Trying to be PC here...

This is one of the "issues" with letting females into Teams. Not that they are not capable or skilled at the job. If they can meet the same grade as the men then there is no debate there.

Its dealing with THESE issues that are the big problem. It can be a cancer in the heart of a Team.