Dear Penthouse Letters

haha, fooled you with that one. Was that mean?

I have a compendium of thoughts today....
First of all, how did I miss President Bush getting caught saying shit on tape? Apparently, it's all the buzz and I didn't hear a thing about it until this morning.

This video of the uber-viral mentos/soda 'myth' debunking is pretty amusing. Guys I work with already tried this stunt in back of the building...I can only say I wish I'd been notified before, but at least someone caught it on video and it's been circulating the department. The thing is to put a full package of mint mentos in a 2-liter of soda (apparently diet works better) and you have an instantaneous fountain of soda 15 feet in the air. It works for the same reason a root beer float does, only on steroids. I'm not going to link to them; go to Google video and search for mentos + soda. You'll have nothing short of a million videos to watch of people doing this.

Clerks II comes out today. Hubby and I want to see it. We're pretty big fans of Kevin Smith and the whole View Askew crew. I have to say that the funniest thing I've heard about this movie so far is that movie critic Joel Siegel walked out 40 minutes into the screening. Apparently he was being loud and obnoxious about a joke that he misunderstood, and didn't even stick around to hear the punch line. How is he going to review the movie now?

The Onion has some pretty amusing articles sometimes...Bush rolls back death toll in Iraq to zero.

Got the Post Secret book yesterday. Had dinner and pottery painting with several of the girls in my family. None of them had ever heard of PostSecret, so I shared the book with them and we all discussed if we knew what our own secret(s) would be, and if we knew how we'd decorate them. One cousin said she knew (almost immediately) what her secret would be. SIL still couldn't think of anything by the time the night was over. Fun exercise, though.

OK so last night (really this morning), the dogs all wake me up. It's roughly 5:15. And storming outside. So I figure either the storm is making them frazzled or they have to potty. I dutifully crawled out of bed, and we traipse (more like thunder; 18 legs isn't tiptoeing) down the stairs. All 4 dogs go out, do their business, and come back inside. I crawl back in bed, joined by my little girl pup, who snuggles right up to go back to sleep. Charlie flops down on his bed. JoJo, one of my dogs-in-law, tries to hop up on the bed, and due to his wet feet I kick him off. Repeat with Gio. Then Gio sits next to the bed whining and crying. I yell at him to lay down. A full size bed is barely enough for one person and one medium size dog, so the 90 lb lab/shepherd mix is going to have to suck it up on the floor. Whine, whine, whine. Then it stops. Miraculously there is 30 seconds of peaceful quiet. then I hear rain inside the house. Wait, we just had the roof replaced 3 months ago. That's not rain, THAT'S GIO PEEING IN MY HOUSE AGAIN. Apparently he hadn't gone outside. Now, if I hadn't let him out not LESS THAN 2 MINUTES PRIOR, I could see not being angry, especially if he tried to wake me and couldn't. But now I have been woken up two hours prior to my alarm, and I have to clean up stinky dog piss. Again this week. How am I going to go back to sleep after waking up enough to clean that up? I proceed to let fly a stream of colorful phrases. I put Gio in the crate so I can clean up without him in my face. Charlie is now hiding from my wrath in the back bedroom. Holly is standing close by, waiting for the appropriate moment to help me calm down. I think JoJo was hiding in the bathroom at this point. And Gio keeps whining. So now I'm thinking, maybe he didn't let it all out on my (fabric) chair and 90 year-old hardwood floors. I take him back ouside. the fucker takes a look around, and then has a seat on the porch. You have GOT to be kidding me! By the time I get him back inside, I am seeing red, and my blood pressure is so high I'm bordering on an aneurysm. Holly keeps giving me kisses and hugs and tries to get me to relax. She cuddled next to me until I got another nap of a half hour or so. Ugh.

So it wasn't the best start to my Friday. I would love to see video of Colin Farrell getting harangued by some random woman at a taping of the Tonight Show, though, so if anybody knows where to find it....

There have been quite a string of shootings, homicides, and accidents severe enough to shut down the freeway lately in Cincinnati...is it the heat wave? Or is it coincidence that they're all happening in immediate succession? I mean we're talking a shooting-related death three separate days in a row, and four (at least) severe accidents days in a row.

*update*
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So since I posted this, Gio has attacked JoJo, his 'brother', once unprovoked, and attacked Charlie an hour later. Charlie was putting up a good fight though, and J and I were pretty scared. JoJo leaped into the fray and dragged Gio down by the scruff of his neck, which ended the fight after that. I was pretty impressed with JoJo's actions, since he tends to be below Gio in the pack order. I am beginning to fear something is wrong with Gio health-wise; perhaps his eyes or back or something. Dogs in pain are known to become aggressively defensive; this is why they tell you if you don't know what you're doing, not to approach a dog that's been hit by a car. And the first thing they dow ith seriously injured dogs is to muzzle them. I even know how to create an impromptu muzzle with a towel or t-shirt. So I call my mom to tell her this, and she snaps at me "I can't get him checked out now, I'm in the middle of Times Square."

Well no fucking shit, genius, I didn't expect you to fly back to Ohio from NY right this second. I had to hang up on her before I started yelling at her to stop being such a bitch. We aren't going to be able to watch her dogs anymore, because now I'm afraid he's going to bite one of us in a fight, or seriously injure Holly, who knows. I don't think he's going to bite one of us randomly, but when they jump into a fight like this, it's almost impossible to see it coming. And we've been standing right there with them half the time. I guess she's being defensive. But if she doesn't get some therapy soon, and stop acting out on all her rage, she's going to alienate herself pretty damn quickly.