It's time to start writing again. I've taken all this time off because, well...I've got kids. And I wasn't into the writing anymore. Now that the little ones are a little older, and I've developed a bit more of my online persona, it's become time to break this blog out again. You're welcome to tag along for the ride.

Tonight as I was getting ready for bed, I started thinking of a tweet. I do this quite often now, since I've become a venerated tweeter. Tweeple, I think they're called. I figure this is how comedians develop their routines; they find what amuses them in their everyday life and they work on polishing it for the masses. Anyway, as I brushed my teeth I looked in the mirror and thought, "Ugh."

"Ugh." my face. My softening body. My flat hair. blah blah blah. I wondered if my mirror could compare the times I've said "gross" to the times I've said "man I look good."

It occurred to me that more people should be approving their reflection. Then I realized...if your mirror counted more self-flattery than objection, society would be upset. It's a double standard we put each other through. "You should value yourself! But wait, not too much..." It's an interesting phenomenon which exhibits itself particularly among female groups. We insult ourselves and wait for our counterparts to offer up what they don't like about their own body. If you like yourself and don't take part, you run the risk of weeding yourself out of the group.

Can we just get to a point where it's OK to be OK with ourselves? Accept the things you can't change, and I don't mean "pay top dollar to change." I mean if you can't eat healthier and exercise a little to fix something, just let go of it as a 'flaw.' If you truly feel the need to alter your body, do it for yourself, and nobody else. Truly.

Let's change 'alter the body' to 'altar your body.' It's an amazing machine that houses our souls.

Well who are you going to call?

http://www.wlwt.com/r-video/27319161/detail.html

Restaurant owner asks cops not to eat at his diner. Blaming one incident where he was "falsely arrested" a few years ago. I put that in quotes because that is his statement, not proven fact.

What a moron, first of all. From a purely business standpoint, you don't single out a large group of potential customers to exclude. It's just stupid marketing. You're effectively hitting a larger market of people to NOT visit your restaurant and thusly line your pockets, because not only are cops going to avoid you like the plague, but so are their family and friends.

Watching the video, the guy makes himself look worse. Like that adage, which I'm sure I'm about to butcher, but basically, "better to keep your mouth shut and have people suspect you're an idiot, than to open your mouth and prove them right."

Running on about 5 hours of interrupted sleep last night, so I'm quite certain my grammar could use a little polishing in this post.

a proud wife

The author of this blog is now the mommy of two little ones. The big one is known to this blog as Bub, and the new little one, who shall be referred to as Pooka, 'the girl', or X23, was born in September. Yet another reason for me to take a hiatus from the blog. She is now four months old. Bub is quite a loving and proud big brother.

I mention my children now because J responded to a call a few weeks ago, which came out to him as a two year old child, not breathing. He was closest to the address, and upoon entering the living room discovered that the child was not two years old, but two MONTHS old. Had turned blue, was not breathing, and his little heart had stopped. J immediately began CPR, later telling me that the first thought that ran through his head was "That's my daughter laying there."

The little boy started gasping, then breathing and crying. 30 seconds later the medics arrived and promptly whisked him off to the hospital. He is still alive, thanks to my husband.

This past Saturday, J was commended by the Sheriff, and will receive a ribbon to wear on his uniform. I haven't been this proud of him since he graduated from the academy!

Hello there blogger community...

Well, J and I brought another little being into the world. Our little Pooka came in September, and if any of you have multiple children you will no doubt understand the time constraint and sheer mind-wipe that having two kids creates. I can only imagine it goes up at an alarming rate with the addition of each new child.

But we're a happy family of four. Six if you count the two pooches. Girl dog has resumed her nursemaid duties to the new baby, albeit on a smaller scale than she did with Bub. When he was born, girl dog made it her mission to be near him at all times, and I have many photos of the two of them. In hindsight I wonder if she thought she had a new friend, wanted to mother him, or just thought he was a perpetual source of food. This being the dog that has eaten soap and drywall, among other things, I'm sure spit-up, cheerios and pureed green beans were a gourmet buffet.

J's work schedule has been in conflict with my own for a year now, and we're facing at least another 9 months of this schedule. Granted, it means his off-days overlap my weekend, but the flip side of that is that we spend most of the week seeing each other in half-hour increments. Mornings while I rush around getting ready for work, lunches when I come home from work, and the occasional dinner with daddy if he isn't busy on the road.

On the plus, it means our children spend most of their time at home with one of us, both saving money and protecting their health, particularly in the midst of flu season. But we've both reached a point where we just miss each other. I know that in comparison to the military wives who are lucky if they get to TALK to their husbands each day they are deployed, I've got it good. At least I get to sleep next to my husband each night. But it still sucks. I don't dwell on it too much, because when you focus on the negative, it sucks you down into the void. Just like any danger zone, you have to be aware of it to avoid it.

Went to a hockey game tonight, leaving Bub and Pooka with a babysitter. Got a text from the sitter that said, "Bub just jumped off the couch and yelled, 'BLONDES AWAY'!"

Spammers

Somehow, making a comment about the asshole spammers prompted even more of them to start commenting on my blog. I'm sorry I had to limit commenting so much for real people, but DAMN THAT SHIT IS ANNOYING. What I want to know is how the spambots are getting past the word verification?

Grand Jury

So I've been absent a while again. This time I have a great, blog-related excuse though. I was on jury duty for two weeks of that time! I wish I could talk more about it, but it was grand jury. It was genuinely fascinating. I was bitter about being summoned at first, but once it started I appreciated being able to see that part of J's job. For those of you not familiar, grand jury is basically the presentation of felony cases by the prosecution. Typically the arresting officer, investigator, or a case presenter present most of the case to a jury, and the prosecutor asks relevant questions. It's fairly informal, and the jury is allowed to ask relevant questions as well. There are no defense lawyers or defendants. Well, typically, anyway. We actually had one case where the defendant personally called the prosecutor and asked to come testify. That was pretty strange actually.

On an unrelated note, is mine the only blog getting spam comments from Asia? Ugh. I hate having to turn on complete comment moderation but this is getting irritating!

Another candidate for the Darwin awards

http://www.wlwt.com/news/23766921/detail.html

Really folks...just...really?

Sometimes you have to do what you have to do

Last week J and I were talking shortly before I went to bed. As we got off the phone, he mentioned that he had to go back up another deputy on a DUI accident.

A few hours later when he got home, I woke up enough for him to tell me that the accident had been caused by friend of J's family. Someone he'd grown up across the street from. Someone whose parents still had dinner with J's parents from time to time. He was fine, no injuries, and his car was the only one involved. But by the time J arrived at the scene, the friend was refusing to do any tests, including the breathalyzer. In Ohio, that's an automatic suspension of your driver's license.

Not only does J have no recourse because he wasn't the responding officer, but he wouldn't have had a choice anyway. There is damaged property, and the friend is refusing to comply with the other deputy. At this point he will be arrested. When J shows up, the friend naturally sees an old familiar face, and feels safer, thinking he won't be in as much trouble now. Even asks for J once he's in the back of the cruiser, cuffed.

Obviously J has an internal conflict about this situation. It's only natural to want to help a friend out, but the damage is done and the consequences need to be paid.

We chat about it for a few minutes in the dark of our bedroom. I reach out my hand to him, to let him know I sympathize. The tone of his voice is heavy with a unique mix of emotions, some sympathy for and disappointment in his friend's actions, his duty and obligation as a LEO. We drift off to sleep.

Two days later we happen to be having dinner with J's parents and sisters. The family of the arrested friend just so happens to come up in conversation, and without even thinking, I start to mention that J has a story about him. J immediately interrupts with, "No I don't."

This isn't the first time he's arrested or been aware of the arrest of someone that his family knew. And in those situations, he's never shared gossip either. I don't know if my brain just forgot that fact, or what. I may have mentioned before, that the neighborhood J and his family grew up in was somewhat Norman Rockwell. The parents of several of the families were all friends, the daughters grew up going to prom together and participating in each other's weddings, the sons raced their bikes up and down the streets and played hide and seek games spread over several back yards. It seems only natural to me that they would be interested in the arrest, even from a sympathetic point of view.

J was quick to shut down the conversation and make it known that he wasn't going to be sharing any sort of information, but obviously there's already some damage done. Later I apologize for the gaff and he forgives me, but it's been weighing on my mind over the last week or so. I betrayed a spousal confidence.

S.W.A.T.

Special Weapons and Tactics. Technically J's team has another acronym they go by, but it's the same thing. They are specifically trained for the types of cases that aren't routine police work. Too often that means they train for any and all situations in preparation for all the unknown factors.

For example, they can't possibly be prepared for the layout of every building floorplan in existence. Or for the great unknown of people in those aforementioned buildings. Where could they be, are they armed, are they dangerous, are they innocent, etc.

My brother is on the SWAT team for his county too, so sometimes it's interesting for the two to compare the differences in their training approach.

A particular situation that comes to mind is when they serve a warrant on a meth lab. The sheer volatility of these labs is such that the team is forced to rethink their approach, and severely reduces or eliminates a number of the tools they typically rely on. No flash-bangs, no tasers, even their gas masks can be rendered obsolete.

Meth labs are scary shit in their own right... it makes me nervous when I hear about those warrants.